Suffering
by Goldsaddletank
Summary: Luke and Rheneas learn the meaning of suffering through joy. (Takes place after 'Rocky Racing')


That night, Rheneas couldn't face his friends because he was too ashamed of what he had done, so he decides to spend the night hiding in the sheds at Rheneas Station. At least no one will bother him there- or so he thinks. He hears another engine slowly backing into the shed beside the old engine.

"Who's there?" He asks, in a startled tone. It was too dark to see the engine clearly, but he hopes it was not Duke, Sir Handel or Duncan.

"Rheneas- what are you doing here?" A soft Irish accent replied from the shadows. It was only Luke, which makes Rheneas sigh with relief. He knows that he would be safe here- and even better, Luke was the exact engine he was looking for!

"Luke, can I ask you something?"

"What is it Rheneas?"

The red engine hesitates. He knows he should tell Luke about what had happened with Freddie, but he isn't sure if he wants to.

"Well, how was your day?" He blurts out in a rush.

Luke knows that this was not what Rheneas had intended to say, but he doesn't push it.

"It was awful." He tells his friend quietly. "The other engines are still angry with me for what happened with Owen."

"What, _everyone_ is angry with you?" Gallant Old Engine asks in horror. "But it was just an accident!"

"I know, but they just give me cold glares though. I can deal with that- I've had worse. It's Duke and Agnes that's bothering me."

"Oh don't listen to them- Duke is old fashioned and- don't tell Skarloey I said this- but Agnes is just a stuck up old bossy wheels. I wouldn't pay her any heed."

Luke had to chuckle at that; but it was a very weak one.

"It doesn't make it any easier though Rheneas. I don't mean to be such a burden, but I don't feel... oh, I don't know!" His voice softened again. "I just feel that no matter what, I'm just being punished for getting so lively and excited. First Victor falls into the sea because of me and then Owen breaks his winch, also because of me!"

"Luke, stop it! You're not to blame for Victor's accident at the docks." Rheneas reminds him. "Thomas proved it to us, remember?"

"I'm sorry Rheneas; I just slip back into that mind set when something like this happens." Luke admits softly.

"I know, but you must never think like that. I know you didn't mean to hurt Owen, and I'm sure things will be back to normal in no time."

"But what if Owen never wants to speak to me again?" Luke whispers in fear. "I don't think I can stand that, Rheneas!"

Rheneas pauses. Luke's outburst reminds him of the occasions when he and Skarloey had a falling out in their younger days. Being siblings and best friends, this was inevitable, but he knew that every time he and Skarloey quarrelled, he immediately regretted it afterwards, and feared that Skarloey would never want to speak to him again- but after a good conversation, they would patch things up.

"Well, have you considered that Owen's missing you?" He asks Luke. He knew that Skarloey often missed Rheneas after a fight too, so that seemed like the right thing to say.

"Yes, I have thought about it, but even though I want to apologize to Owen, I'm not allowed in the quarry until further notice." He sighs sadly. "You know, earlier I wished I can find someone who understands what I'm going through, Rheneas, and you...I feel you're more sympathetic than anyone else right now."

This causes the Skarloey Railway 'Number 2' engine to cough uncomfortably, which surprises the young green engine.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I too caused the downfall of a friend through pride." He admits.

"You...you have? Who was it, and when?" Luke asks.

"It was Freddie. I wanted to race earlier on today as I had repairs on my wheels, you see, and I wanted to try them out. I was taking slate trucks, but I didn't bother to check if they were tied down correctly."

"Then what happened?" Luke gasps in shock.

"I...I lost some slate on the line, Freddie hit it, and derailed, but I didn't realise, and I celebrated my victory at the Wharf unaware of what was going on...

"Was he angry at you?"

"I think he was, but he didn't say anything about it. I feel terrible...no, not even that. I feel a lot worse, but I can't describe how horrible I feel."

"Now you know how I felt when I hurt Owen." Luke tells him with great empathy.

"Yes." Rheneas agrees. He doesn't want to feel it again, as it leaves a pained feeling in his boiler. He hoped that Luke hadn't had to deal with that pain alone in the tunnels whenever he isolated himself from the other engines. "I just wish I didn't have to deal with the shame." He adds, quietly. "I know you've dealt with worse, Luke, but I don't want to face Skarloey tonight-nor Duncan and Sir Handel."

"I'm the same- I've been doing maintenance on the line lately, so I haven't spoken to many engines- except Duke and Mighty Mac."

"All I've been doing is trying to hide from everyone." Rheneas sighs. "I suppose we've learned about having too much pride."

"Yes, and also that competitions can cost friendships and dignity." Luke added quietly. "I now see why Duke tells Sir Handel to be more humble..."

"Even when we're avoiding him, he teaches us a lesson." Rheneas replied. "Do you find that strange?"

Luke says nothing for a moment. Then, in a mumble, he tells his companion of how he felt that even when he had no idea of what happened to the yellow engines, the rumours that circulated since had reminded him of what his desire to come to Sodor had cost.

The other engine fails to completely understand what Luke had said, but he understands that the yellow engine's supposed fate served to remind him that there was indeed suffering in joy.


End file.
